Alienation sometimes involves alliance building, which forces the victim to face not only the potential loss of one relationship, but the relationship with possibly a whole peer group. 18 out of 24 questionnaire participants (14 years old) believe members of a group occasionally act together to leave one person out. 8 out of 24 thought it happened often and 4 out of 24 thought it always happened. No one believed that alliance building never occurred. The School Counsellor (female, 49 years) said that alliance building does occur and is more common for girls due to gossip. All of the interviewees were aware that alliance building occurred during their adolescence. The female interviewee (45 years) said that “one girl only stayed in the group because her father left her mother and the group felt sorry for her. Everyone knew she wasn’t accepted.”
Simmons found that alliance building is the product of a secret relational ecosystem where the façade of the group functions as an eave under which preteens can preserve their image. The loser usually ends up alienated from others, giving exactly what she/he fears: relational loss (Simmons 2002). In Simmon’s book, many perpetrators have associated isolating an individual with the sense of empowerment.
“Popularity itself is in large part defined by the ability of one…to turn friends against someone else” (Simmons (2002). All of the interviewees agreed with this statement. The male interviewee (46 years) said that an individual would want to alienate their peer to avoid being alienated themselves and the female interviewee (45 years) said “adolescents often alienate each other out of rivalry or to gain a sense of power.”
If alienation is a trauma, then there is power to be found in peer relationships. While alliance building is a positive sign of peer affirmation for many, the victims are left alone in the treacherous terrain of the preteen culture. More often than not, the individual experiencing alienation is often blamed for their own situation by teachers, peers or parents not willing to fully address the situation. This is sometimes the case, however, it is usually the action of peers who take direct or indirect action to physically or emotionally alienate an individual.
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